Things change…even when you’re not sure you want them to. So it is with this blog: The Reflective Writer is arriving at its conclusion. Now.
This is the final post for The Reflective Writer blog, and it is a post I have been writing internally for several months now. Thinking about what I might say, thinking about what “the final one” should be, thinking and mulling and revising and rejecting — all the ways one can be engaged but not doing, lost in words but not writing. I so wanted to create a final post that would be a perfect capstone to this experience and, as with nearly every hope that accompanies the word “perfect,” I became stymied. I could never arrive at that idealized conclusion.
In the end, I am able to come to this final post not by having the exact right set of words or being sure what the conclusion will be, but simply knowing it’s time. Sometimes we get ready for a change because we’ve spent just enough time avoiding it. We get tired of our own hesitation, our strategies for procrastination both subtle and overt, our backtracking and sidestepping. We get ready because we are bored with the alternative.
In digging through a box that made the move with me to my new home last year, I found materials from a writing course I took many years ago with author Rebecca Wells. I browsed through the notebooks and found striking words of exhortation, directed towards writing but speaking to me now of life in general.
“You can turn on the existential spit of indecision forever.”
“You commit to something. It’s the kettle on the stove.”
I loved these so much I wrote them on 3×5 cards to put with my journal so I could read them daily. The existential spit of indecision — was there ever a better description of the state we experience when avoiding choice and change? My existential spit of indecision about this website started well over a year ago, and now, today, I am jumping off the spit. I am done turning, done roasting, done debating.
As for the next commitment, I already have a new kettle on the stove. Unexpectedly, I have launched into a new teaching arena: I teach fitness for seniors in two classes — a low-impact cardio dance class and Silver Sneakers©, a class to improve muscle strength and endurance, flexibility, and balance. The story behind this will wait for another day and, perhaps, another blog. Suffice to say that interest, experience, impulse, enthusiasm, and opportunity came together with startling ease.
Moving to new experiences does not mean the old ones get tossed. I continue to teach workshops, where reflective writing finds its place among other brain-based stress-reduction methods, and I am never far from my own journal. My needs have not changed. I must put pen to paper, explore my inner world, and contemplate my experience in order to change and grow. Though I will not be sharing thoughts through this blog, I will be writing and reflecting. I hope you will do the same.
With deep appreciation and affection for all who have read this blog, I sign off now. May your inner world and love of self-exploration through writing continue to grow.
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