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One More Time: Letting Go, Honoring Loss, Saying Goodbye

by Judy Stone-Goldman on April 22, 2015

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I had some goodbyes this weekend. Some sadness; some loss. Hadn’t I already said my goodbyes? Yes, but apparently I wasn’t done yet.

On Sunday I weeded and watered one final time at my old house. Although we moved last November, we waited until spring to sell, taking the time to update the house and await the good market. Until recently we had little to do there and visited infrequently. But once the property sold, the yard required tending, particularly with a few delays in closing.

There I was on Sunday, pulling my final round of dandelions, watering new shrubs, and fertilizing the roses one last time. I was surprised by the sadness I felt, the sense of “this is really it” and my reluctance to leave. I felt affectionate towards the natural world held in this space (even the weeds), filled with tenderness that spoke of sweet memory even in the absence of specific events.

trees blossoms old house

Blossoms give me a loving goodbye

I felt deeply sad, but I knew the loss was not about regret. It did not signal that something had gone wrong. It did not voice a wish to reverse or change life’s course. It was just the feeling that accompanies change, the feeling of one major part of my life shifting. I honor that shift by accepting the sadness and naming the loss.

House, yard, trees, and sky: at one time our future, then our long present, and now our past. Goodbye!

Questions for Reflection: Do you leave room for sadness that marks life events? How do you experience the emotions that accompany change? Are there changes in your life now that deserve to be acknowledged?

Writing Prompts: “When I go through a life change, I am most likely to feel ______” (then keep writing); “When something in my present moves to the past, I often feel ______” (then keep writing); “Just reading about sadness reminds me of ______” (then keep writing); “Right now, I am feeling loss around ______” (then keep writing).

 

 

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Liz Gow April 28, 2015 at 1:11 am

Dear Judy
What powerful reflections. I really connected with how grief does not mean that there is regret and somehow I had this belief too!

Thank you so much for sharing your personal and inspirational experiences of real life. Thinking of you and congratulations on transitioning into your Spring, ready to blossom. Love and hugs, xx

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Judy Stone-Goldman
Twitter:
April 29, 2015 at 8:54 pm

Hi Liz, I always enjoy hearing what you connect with in my blog. As for spring, we are having a beautiful one. You must be preparing to bed down for fall and winter, is that correct? Time for shedding and retreating, perhaps; also an important part of life. May your time be full of feelings and gratitude, but not regret. {{hugs}}

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